Christmas 2007 - A Santa Story
You guys are 3 years old at this point, really the first time you were capable of grasping Santa. Christmas presents, you had down, Santa not so much. So we figured we'd tell you he was coming to get you a little pumped.
Funny thing is, from the first mention, every fiber in both your little brains was just screaming "Bullshit." After about the 3rd comment in 11 seconds, I started jotting it all down on post-its. Glad I did because we have this little gem for the ages.
(you can also thank Aunt Barb for holding on to a printed copy of this for years....)
Funny thing is, from the first mention, every fiber in both your little brains was just screaming "Bullshit." After about the 3rd comment in 11 seconds, I started jotting it all down on post-its. Glad I did because we have this little gem for the ages.
(you can also thank Aunt Barb for holding on to a printed copy of this for years....)

Mom: Guess what guys?! Know who's coming?! It's almost Christmas and Santa will come by and maybe bring you guys some fun presents!
Tyler: I want a hockey table like in that store.
Kyle: Yeah!!
Mom: And we'll leave a plate of cookies for Santa and a little glass of milk. He likes that!
Tyler: When he crunches the cookies he's going to wake us up.
Mom: No, Santa is very quiet, I wouldn't worry about that.
Tyler: Can I eat some cookies with him?
Mom: Well, no, Santa eats alone and you guys are going to be sleeping.
Kyle: Hockey Tablllllllle!!!!!
Mom: We'll see guys, but the hockey table is kind of big and heavy so I don't think Santa's going to be able to carry that.
Tyler: Hmmm...(quiet for a second)...How's he going to get in the house?
Mom: Well, Santa comes down the chimney.
[Rapid-fire now...]
Tyler: How's he going to fit in the chimney?!??
Kyle: How does he get on the roof??
Tyler: There's all those logs in the fireplace.
Kyle: He's gonna need some kind of ladder or something.
Mom: Well, Santa flies in with reindeer and lands on the roof and comes down the chimney.
Kyle: He's gonna need a ladder!
Mom: No, Santa just....SWOOOP!...slides down the chimney.
Tyler: He's gonna have dirt all over him!
Mom: No, Santa will just clean himself up.
Tyler: (Shaking his head no, no, no)...But he's gonna be BLACK! How does he clean that up?!
Mom: He just wrinkles his nose and POOF all the dirt goes away.
Tyler and Kyle: (Stare straight at Mom, don't say a word.)
Kyle: And the roof is slanted, how's he gonna land on that?!
Dad: It's just magic, OK fellas? Just magic.
Kyle: He's gonna need a ladder.
Mom: He won't need a ladder Kyle, he just slides down!!
Kyle: Maybe he can borrow Dad's ladder.
Mom: Know what Kyle? Santa's just going to stick a ladder in the back of the sleigh and he'll use it if he needs it, OK?
Kyle: He's gonna need it.
Tyler: Aren't Coop and Tug gonna be barking at him?
Mom: No, Santa comes every year so Coop and Tug know him.
Tyler: Are the reindeer coming in too?
Mom: No, they're afraid of Coop and Tug so they'll stay on the roof.
Kyle: He better not let Izze out 'cause the foxes and coyotes will eat her!
Mom: He won't let her out because he doesn't use the doors. He just comes down the chimney and leaves some presents under the tree.
Tyler: We're gonna need two trees because there are two kids. There's me, then (pointing) this is my brother Kyle here.
Dad: We're aware there are two of you, T.
Mom: One tree is plenty, guys.
Tyler: Can I help Santa carry the presents in?
Mom: No, sorry, Santa's a big guy, he can handle it.
Tyler: Then how come he can't carry a hockey table?
[And on it went.....]
Tyler: I want a hockey table like in that store.
Kyle: Yeah!!
Mom: And we'll leave a plate of cookies for Santa and a little glass of milk. He likes that!
Tyler: When he crunches the cookies he's going to wake us up.
Mom: No, Santa is very quiet, I wouldn't worry about that.
Tyler: Can I eat some cookies with him?
Mom: Well, no, Santa eats alone and you guys are going to be sleeping.
Kyle: Hockey Tablllllllle!!!!!
Mom: We'll see guys, but the hockey table is kind of big and heavy so I don't think Santa's going to be able to carry that.
Tyler: Hmmm...(quiet for a second)...How's he going to get in the house?
Mom: Well, Santa comes down the chimney.
[Rapid-fire now...]
Tyler: How's he going to fit in the chimney?!??
Kyle: How does he get on the roof??
Tyler: There's all those logs in the fireplace.
Kyle: He's gonna need some kind of ladder or something.
Mom: Well, Santa flies in with reindeer and lands on the roof and comes down the chimney.
Kyle: He's gonna need a ladder!
Mom: No, Santa just....SWOOOP!...slides down the chimney.
Tyler: He's gonna have dirt all over him!
Mom: No, Santa will just clean himself up.
Tyler: (Shaking his head no, no, no)...But he's gonna be BLACK! How does he clean that up?!
Mom: He just wrinkles his nose and POOF all the dirt goes away.
Tyler and Kyle: (Stare straight at Mom, don't say a word.)
Kyle: And the roof is slanted, how's he gonna land on that?!
Dad: It's just magic, OK fellas? Just magic.
Kyle: He's gonna need a ladder.
Mom: He won't need a ladder Kyle, he just slides down!!
Kyle: Maybe he can borrow Dad's ladder.
Mom: Know what Kyle? Santa's just going to stick a ladder in the back of the sleigh and he'll use it if he needs it, OK?
Kyle: He's gonna need it.
Tyler: Aren't Coop and Tug gonna be barking at him?
Mom: No, Santa comes every year so Coop and Tug know him.
Tyler: Are the reindeer coming in too?
Mom: No, they're afraid of Coop and Tug so they'll stay on the roof.
Kyle: He better not let Izze out 'cause the foxes and coyotes will eat her!
Mom: He won't let her out because he doesn't use the doors. He just comes down the chimney and leaves some presents under the tree.
Tyler: We're gonna need two trees because there are two kids. There's me, then (pointing) this is my brother Kyle here.
Dad: We're aware there are two of you, T.
Mom: One tree is plenty, guys.
Tyler: Can I help Santa carry the presents in?
Mom: No, sorry, Santa's a big guy, he can handle it.
Tyler: Then how come he can't carry a hockey table?
[And on it went.....]